Sometimes I wish I could just wait until this is all over, wait until it’s possible for me to forget all of this ever happened. It’s a necessary evil, however. It’s something that I need to endure while it’s happening, and even though I despise it, it’s necessary and there’s nothing I can do about it except accept the circumstances I’ve been given. Like in card games, you can’t change the cards you’ve drawn in your opening hand; you have to accept them and try to win with whatever you get. Unfortunately, I drew some bad cards recently, or at least cards that are sometimes detrimental to my own sanity and health.
The necessary evil that’s currently occupying my time is my job, as crazy as that may sound. It’s a necessary evil because I don’t quite like where I am but I have to be there while I look for something new to occupy myself with. I’m accepting the fate that I have, even though ideally I have to worry about gas or anything like that in the meantime. Because I’m driving to work every day, and while I’m doing so, I’m thinking about the fact that I now need to drive an hour back and forth. I’m thinking about the ticking clock of my gas meter, how I’ll need to fill it again soon even though I already filled it a couple days ago. It’s a terrible situation to be in, but you have to live and let live.
Jace has been a great help, though. Having him around has reminded me of what it’s like to have a lasting companion that won’t just disappear or betray you after a set amount of time. I appreciate the fact that I have a friend who will help me when I’m in need, instead of kicking me out.