#446: The Eraser

background clips eraser notebook

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom on Pexels.com

This won’t be about your traditional, everyday pencil eraser, nor will it be about the types of erasers you use to wipe off dry erase markers from whiteboards. This is instead going to be about when people erase certain things from their life, hitting an undo button on everything that once was in place. Whether it’s the mugs in the cupboard, the pictures that used to hang in the kitchen, the pillows that used to stay over the chest of blankets, everything seems to be erased that once was. You feel as if the life you worked to create over the past three years was all for nothing, as if the life you built and strove to make no longer exists in anyone’s heads anymore. Even the smallest items no longer exist, or were thrown away, or were trashed and put into oblivion as if they no longer need to be around.

I mean, I did the same thing. But I feel like it’s a different feeling when you’re the one this is all happening to, when your life is the life that’s going through the most dramatic changes as a result, when you had made an agreement for the sake of fairness and equity for everyone and then that agreement is reneged.

Am I annoyed by all of this? A little bit. A part of me feels like all the effort I made, all the work I put into things, was all for nothing. All for nothing kind of summarizes a lot of my feelings towards what happened recently.

Being an eraser is different from being erased upon. I still have the portrait of us somewhere in my room, and I don’t know why I have it, but I can’t bring myself to get rid of it. It’s a memory regardless of whether or not it’s a pleasant one.

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