Materialism in a Nutshell

Every Wednesday after classes I go grocery shopping

It’s a mundane affair until you find something funny somewhere on the shelves.

Like a $4 bag of Lays potato chips, party-sized, advertised as the best chips around

But for four dollars you’re only buying half the bag.

The top half is just air.

And that reminded me of a time when I ordered a $5 foot-long from Subway

But upon further inspection I discovered that my savory sandwich had in fact

Measured a mere eleven and a quarter inches.

What a rip off.

And the Buick Enclave I test-drove at the car dealer,

Which the salesman astutely advertised as the “smoothest car ride you’ll ever have”

Was rather rough as the dealership was located on a road cluttered with speed bumps

And speed humps.

And then there’s also that one time

I ordered Rocky Road ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s but there was

Neither rock nor road in that crude concoction.

Sometimes when you peer behind the cans of dog food

You’ll find a whole new world of red, green, orange, magenta-colored cans

That you’ve never seen before until that day, and

Will most likely never see again because they’re on recall

For containing salmonella.


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