Every Wednesday after classes I go grocery shopping
It’s a mundane affair until you find something funny somewhere on the shelves.
Like a $4 bag of Lays potato chips, party-sized, advertised as the best chips around
But for four dollars you’re only buying half the bag.
The top half is just air.
And that reminded me of a time when I ordered a $5 foot-long from Subway
But upon further inspection I discovered that my savory sandwich had in fact
Measured a mere eleven and a quarter inches.
What a rip off.
And the Buick Enclave I test-drove at the car dealer,
Which the salesman astutely advertised as the “smoothest car ride you’ll ever have”
Was rather rough as the dealership was located on a road cluttered with speed bumps
And speed humps.
And then there’s also that one time
I ordered Rocky Road ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s but there was
Neither rock nor road in that crude concoction.
Sometimes when you peer behind the cans of dog food
You’ll find a whole new world of red, green, orange, magenta-colored cans
That you’ve never seen before until that day, and
Will most likely never see again because they’re on recall
For containing salmonella.