I love audiences when they’re not paying attention to me; if the ceiling is more interesting then Carry on, Mr.Ceiling, please do. You have funnier stories, clearer rhetoric, You’re more captivating than my boring ideas. Though I’ll continue talking because I love audiences, even when they’re staring me down waiting for something witty or intelligent to escape me. But it won’t come. At least, not today. I’m not in the mood. I love crowds because I can duck my head, Hold my backpack tightly and pretend that the scores of onlookers are looking at the Ceiling instead. Or their phones. On Facebook. Pay attention, there. I love you all. Pay attention, here. I hate you all. Daydream, please, think of transient things. Stream of consciousness, for a moment: Tell me what you see, young and old Scholars. Tell me what’s going on. I hate it. But I love audiences.